Away W'hey

In France til Friday. Next post then.

Word and words

Been reading again. Lots of stuff about major theological movements plus a bit of Pritchard's book. I came to the conclusion that I was 'evangelical' but then had trouble working out why someone who followed Jesus would be anything else. In it's simplest form it's believing that God's words 'will not return to him empty' and that people really need to be saved. Any other way seems to be living without purpose and without power. I guess it's survival but hardly life in all its fulness. Of course at Cuddesdon we'll be 'allsorts', and I'm not at all sure how to deal with that.

Just the Same

I have found myself pondering success and failure this week as I produce my yearly analysis of exam results. Colleagues kept asking how I got on, and I felt the pedantic need to point out that I had not taken any exams. I also publicly reflected that after 20 odd years of watching results go up and down, it was pleasant not to have to account for poor results to some higher authority and I was glad that students had done well, but beyond that I felt there was little to say. I wanted to be able to 'treat success and failure just the same'. I am reminded of Simon Ponsonby's illustration of what it means to be dead to sin, where a monk is told to insult and praise a dead companion. Praise or criticism have no effect at all. I am not sure I've quite reached that point, but responding to exam results is at least good practice.

Dry Bones

I am not sure if he'd be flattered but Bishop John Pritchard's book nattily entitled 'the life and work of a priest' is currently my toilet reading (for you girls, blokes quite like the odd quiet sit down behind a locked door). I just pick a bit to read at random. Today it was, oddly, about how the 'priest' leads a service. He uses the rather bishop-like terms 'president' not 'celebrant' to describe the leader's role (invading foreign countries not allowed). Better for me was the phrase 'who will breathe life into these dry bones', which I took to be a call to the priest to call on the Spirit to guide and fill the gathered worshippers - that leading is not some clever trick but rather a readiness to be poor in spirit and then be made rich.

Under Pressure

'It's not the pressure on the outside, but the vacuum within, that makes us collapse'. Andrew Wommack again, but rather pertinent to yesterday's appraisal. He offers magnifying what God has done for us, remembering and recalling to mind his past blessing and our eternal future to come to make all current trials seem minor. Not a bad recipe, I reckon, so I've done some remembering today, not least the three occasions when I nearly died, once in a skidding car, once in a smoke-filled room and once on an icy rock at the top of a waterfall. It made life feel hugely precious.

Taking Stock

As I sat on the sofa today, I wondered how it would all work. Fitting everything in is not that hard - you simply reduce the job to fit the time available - but that does not sound like Jesus' promise of fulness of life. It is not so much time management I need as time explosion - that marvelous gift of making the most of every opportunity. Let me see - school: new timetable, new courses, new pupils every one rightly hoping for the best teaching (and some of the same old challenges); home: five of the best to love in every way and a house to keep; church: men's ministry with new visions and new opportunities; ordination training: evenings, weekends, residential week, essays and, most importantly, getting ready for ministry; and, of course, family, friends, godchildren and many more. This said, I strongly sensed at New Wine that God has different priorities to me - but maybe more of that another time.

Make the Most

Can I ask you to pray for a man I met outside the house recently? We got talking and it moved towards matters of faith. For him science explained all. Though faith was real, it did not reach beyond the natural world. I was able to share something of my story, as to how science had rocked my faith, but that I'd found that reason would never provide an answer, for faith was about relationship. I left him with a challenge, to read the Psalms and see if he met with God. But every time he wanders past now I'm caught up in the house, and when I go out he's gone. I know God's timing is perfect, but have a strong sense that we need to talk more so as to take more steps together. If you could pray over that meeting, for it to happen and for me to listen as much as anything, I'd be grateful.

Can I Count?

I've been listening to Andrew Wommack - Be Thankful. Sounds ghastly, I know, but it's rather good. In it he tells a story of meeting a woman struggling with divorce and loneliness. He asks her if she knows if she is saved. She replies that she is not. He asks if she knows she will go to hell for eternity if she dies tonight. She replies that she does. So why are you worrying about your marriage, he asks. If we can count right then every trouble, trial or challenge is of great value if it is in pursuit of God and every bit of wealth, security or certainty is of no value if it takes us away from him. When I find giving up stuff a burden it's because I cannot add up right. In reality it's a blessing because God is no man's debtor, now or in eternity. This feels like an answer to the last plog already. Thanks.

Wide Awake

Woke up around 2 a.m. with Oliver's tutor group for next term going round my head. Everyone he knows or meets seems to be in another group. I did the usual thing of thanking God for it, whatever it was hard or easy, but it would not go away. After ages I realised God was trying to say something, so asked and at once recalled the verse, 'I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper'. It seems God wanted me to know the future was all in his hands. Frankly I'm rather glad of that. Trying to plan through the implication of ordination for things like salary, home and schools are well beyond me. It seems to me at the moment that we should jump ship from teaching and go into full time ministry at the end of training, but how that will work for the family I have no idea!

The Mercy Seat

A huge privilege today - I'm a godparent for only the second time (clearly Andy and Lucy did not check my previous record). It struck me as the 'service' progressed how important is the role of the minister to take something ordinary (or even a little odd) and allow it to become something special. Tim (the vicar at Christ Church) seems to do it so effortlessly. I cannot imagine being able to do it at all. It was a great baptism and a great day, by the way.

Think again

Cuddesdon provide a reading list! It's to get us thinking 'theologically', so I started reading. It was surprisingly enjoyable. All the arguments of the first Christian centuries seem really up to date. Then, disaster. At the end of the chapter was a list of what I should have learned - and I could remember none of it. I think study may be more difficult for me than anyone expects.

Plogging

I have been asked to send someone my prayer letter. Having been a person who routinely fails to use prayer letters properly if at all, I thought I might try something a little different - a prayer log or 'plog'. Being averse to endlessly asking God for stuff, but being greatly aware of the need for prayer, I thought I'd try to keep anyone who wishes it in touch by 'plogging'. I'm not promising a daily 'plog', but I'll do my best to keep it up to date. First plog soon!