Day 10: As I woke I found my misery had been self-fulfilling. If I had not felt so miserable, I would have been able to find peace and happiness. But I also woke with a different mindset. In the night I had been awake and had a 3 a.m. moment of blind panic. As it settled so did I. Life was not utterly miserable except if I chose it to be that way. The misery was not me, and so could be rejected and driven out. It was not that I should look on the bright side, all life has dark and light, but that I should look to the light and bask in it. I was a bit like someone on a sunny day choosing to stay indoors and watch daytime television. So that's it. 'In acceptance lieth peace' (Amy Carmichael).